Direction?? Who needs that??

So for one of my assignments I need to chose a future path, a direction, a passion to exploit. Here is my question, how the HELL am I supposed to do that when for the past four years I have been living in a moment to moment basis?? I don't know what I am doing later today let alone a year from now. Thats the beauty of being in recovery, your one goal is to make it to tonight....however, I don't see my Grad School professours appreciating that. So what it comes down to is trying to BS my way through a presentation, somehow incorporating things that I feel passionately about yet at the same time that Europeans will in no way appreciate or understand it. Sigh. If only I knew what a challenge a European Grad School would be....who are we kidding, I still would have come. I'm going to look at this as a skill building assignment, being able to sell something to someone who doesn't speak my language, if I can get these crazy people on board then I can do anything??

Anyways, on a side note, I feel the undeniable urge to BUY SOMETHING. I know that feeling is related to something other than actual purchasing. Probably the fact that Valentines day was yesterday. A group of us single American girls decided to go see the movie Valentines Day (yes, we are women and cliche...don't judge me) I bought all the girls tiny bottles of wine (there was my first mistake, I should have gotten HUGE bottles of wine!) and we enjoyed some candy and the flick before heading down to our favorite Irish Pub, Waxy O'Conners. We stayed for a couple drinks at Waxy's, enjoyed inappropriate conversations, laughed, and scoped before heading home. Unfortunately, the majority of us were sick :( so the night wasn't super satisfying, but it was nice to get out of my flat and enjoy the city with some friends.

I started searching for jobs in the States. We're at our halfway point now and I am beginning to feel the pressure of student loans and no employment. Granted I do have another 6 months after I get home to start paying these off, and thanks to some planning I currently have 0 bills and debt. I am planning on throwing a couple grand into my Mustang and using that as my daily driver when i get home. I'm actually really looking forward to it. I love that car and I miss driving in general. Thankfully it wont be the midst of summer when I get home, so overheating (the MAIN problem) won't be as much of an issue as it could be. My one concern really, is that driving the Mustang will remind me of memories and loved ones long since gone, people I miss daily without the constant reminder of the world of cars and their gifts. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe the car will just remind me of the good times, of my Grandpa helping me with the leaky break line as I barley made it to his driveway, or of my uncle racing me around the hood in his El Camino and putting $$ down that the Stang could take my cousins Vet in a heartbeat. We shall see, the only real test is actually getting behind the wheel again.

Until then the best I can do is enjoy every minute of my time here and the circus that is Monkey Island.