Grrrr. and not in the fun way.

Sometimes I feel like being here, I am losing part of myself (mainly the carefree la-ti-da spirit I left CA with). I know that on some level that sounds ridiculous. But at the same time lest be honest, there is NO way that this place is not changing me. So that begs the question, is the change for the better?

Today, I got really internally upset (the WORST kind of upset...the un-announced kind) over something so insignificant. And I think the action of me being upset, is actually MORE UPSETTING. Maybe I'm just getting my period or something, but I have a policy in life to not sweat the small stuff, and I am breaking that policy all over the place today (resulting in passive aggressive grunting and pssh-ing in public). But maybe thats just the journey of life. Breaking rules, and figuring out how to do it better the next time.

So today, I give into the emotions, I feel the aggravation (I passive aggressively give a dirty look as I mumble the lie of "no worries" under my breath) and keep moving along. I refuse to take ownership of the action that caused the aggravation, thats not mine to feel. But the effects are felt and learned. Tomorrow is a new day and fresh start.